The Christmas Calamity
by ilovetvalot
Summary: Written for Bonesbird with prompts from Facebook. What else can go wrong for Christmas?


**_Author's Note: Hello! Chit Chat on Author's Corner forum have signups in session through December 31 for our "Resolutions Challenge" for January. Rules and details are also at the forum! Please join us for the challenge that will kickoff the New Year._**

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**_A special note to my readers...as Christmas draws nearer, so does my husband's return from the war zone in Afghanistan. This said, posts will be slowing DRAMATICALLY after the holiday. Bear with me. Slower updates are expected to last approximately a month. But, real life and a family reconnection will take precedence. I'm sure you all understand. But, take heart, a happy hubby makes an energetic writer._**

**_And as always, thanks to our readers! Your reviews and alerts make our day and we love hearing from you! We don't own a thing, but we sure wish we did._**

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_**Because I don't say it often enough, nothing would happen in these stories without my wonderful co-author and friend, tonnie2001969. Too often, the author name ilovetvalot is mistaken for just one person. There are two of us. Tonnie2001969 collaborates on every single one of these stories and I can't say ENOUGH wonderful things about this woman!**_

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_**Thank you to Bonesbird for her wonderful JJ/Garcia Christmas prompts: Room lit only by a fire, filling a child's stocking with silly toys, broken Christmas tree lights**_

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**The Christmas Calamity**

Dropping the silly putty into her godson's rapidly filling Christmas stocking, Penelope Garcia cast a quick look over her shoulder. Still safe, she thought happily, adding the vial of green slime to the sock already filled with assorted goodies. But, she warned herself, she had to work fast.

If Jennifer Jareau caught Garcia adding these little contraband items to her son's burgeoning Santa stocking, her head would implode. Dropping the last container of play-dough into the mix, Penelope dusted her hands as she turned, stumbling over the edge of the coffee table in her haste.

Muffling a less than ladylike expletive as the front door opened, she shoved the empty plastic bag behind her back as her best friend walked back inside the warm living room, a strand of broken Christmas lights draped over her fingers. "How's it going out there, my little Christmas elfette?" Garcia asked cheerfully as she stood in front of roaring fireplace, the only light the shadowy room offered at the moment.

"Why exactly did I let you convince me that it was a _good_ idea to let our significant others hang lights from the roof?" JJ groaned as she rifled through the drawer of one coffee table for a flashlight.

"In my defense, I didn't think that there was enough talent between them to short circuit the entire neighborhood." Penelope grimaced apologetically, dropping the empty sack behind her and kicking it under the couch. "Are they getting closer up there?"

"To electrocuting themselves or to fixing the problem?" JJ snorted, rolling her eyes as she blindly searched, her fingers grasping at anything remotely close. If she could find the damn flashlight, she could find the breaker box and hopefully fix their little venture into the darkest night. "But the good news is, it wasn't the entire block that got fried. Just us."

"Oh, good," Penelope sighed in relief. Mercy, when she'd asked her little love bunny to buy her so time, she had never expected him to suggest a rooftop light adventure to Will LaMontagne.

"I swear, Will was just looking for a chance to go up on the roof," JJ grumbled, cursing as she banged her knee against the table. "It wasn't enough that our front porch looks like a neon nightmare. No, he wanted us to be seen from outer space."

"Now, Sweetums," Garcia chided lightly, "you know your big lug is just trying to give you a holly, jolly Christmas. He's trying to make it special for you and Henry."

"Oh, it's going to be real special if he manages to burn our house down," JJ grumbled under her breath, releasing a triumphant shout as her hand finally found the yellow flashlight. "Eureka!"

Pressing her hands against her ears as she attempted to quell the sudden ringing, Penelope yelped, "Archimedes wasn't so enthusiastic as you are, my frantic little gumdrop! And he was trying to please a king, you know!"

"Well, Ark-a-who-who may have been on a royal quest, but I'm trying to keep my happy home from disintegrating into a pile of holiday ash," JJ retorted as she stomped toward the garage, flicking the flashlight beam to and fro as she continued her search for the elusive breakers.

Following along quickly behind, Penelope watched as her determined friend finally located the box in the far, far corner. "Careful, Jayje," she called out as the blonde managed to scale two cardboard boxes, the flashlight held between her teeth. "Calling an ambulance is not exactly the way we want to get lights back into the neighborhood, now is it?"

"Not helping, Pens!" Wrinkling her nose as she scanned the breakers with the concentrated light, JJ nodded grimly as she declared, "There you are!" And with a determined flick of her fingers, she snapped the offending breaker back into place.

And let out a growl as the entire house suddenly lit brightly...then went dark again. "Nooooo!" JJ groaned in horror.

"Maybe we should call our resident genius," Penelope suggested helpfully as JJ shimmied over another plastic tote in an effort to get closer to her goal. "Doesn't our Dr. Reid have a degree in engineering in his extensive repertoire?"

"We are NOT letting Spence anywhere near this mess! Will and Kevin are the only two bumbling fools I can handle right now," JJ growled, jerking the flashlight from between her teeth and shining it on the panel in front of her. "I've just gotta find the right switch."

"Now, Peaches," Pen sighed. "Why don't we just call an electrician and save those little sparks for someone with a clue?"

"Because I don't want my Christmas budget blown to hell by my inept significant other's overwhelming desire to induce a neighborhood wide migraine," JJ retorted. Shaking her head furiously, she mimicked, "'Oh, Chere, we can handle a little lights. C'mon, darlin', you know Henry will be excited when he gets done with his sleepover at Jack's house. Let me just hustle on up there with Kevin and strings some strands of happiness, mon amour'." Growling, she looked over her shoulder. "And I FELL for it! You LET me fall for it!"

Shuffling guilty on her feet, her ulterior motives would hardly help to assuage the other woman's agitation. "What about Morgan?" she offered instead. "Studly is good _really_ good with his tools."

Staring into the grey box on the wall, JJ shook her head. "Gonna pretend that my happily committed best friend did _not_ just say that," she sang under her breath as she stared at the control panel.

"You know what I meant, my cute little gutter mind," Pen giggled, her cheeks reddening.

"Yeah," JJ mumbled, her eyes narrowing. "Aha! I found the master switch. This oughta do it," she said, her thumb quickly flicking the black breaker, flooding the garage in bright light. "I did it!" she squealed, clapping her hands together as she turned to look at Penelope.

Nodding as two masculine shouts and a loud thump accompanied JJ's shouts of joy, Penelope groaned, turning to hurry toward the front door. "I think Santa just fired two elves, Buttercup!" she hollered over her shoulder as she skated to a stop on the front porch.

"Are they okay?" JJ yelled from the interior of the house.

Looking at the two struggling bodies on the ground, Penelope choked back a laugh as Kevin tried to regain his balance. "Besides the fact that Rudolph's red nose is buried somewhere he never expected it to go?" she yelled back. "Yeah, they're fine! The inflatable reindeer broke their fall!"

And as JJ finally reached Penelope's side, her jaw fell open. Both Will and Kevin were struggling to find their way off of Santa's inflatable sleigh, muffled curses and laughs accompanying their effort.

"Well," she sighed, "Fa la,la, la, la, la, la freaking la! Merry Christmas to all…"

"And to all a goodnight," Penelope agreed, struggling to maintain her composure as Will LaMontage straddle Blitzer.

She could only wonder which Christmas calamity was next. Maybe they could top things by mugging Santa _next_ year.

**Finis**

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**I truly hope you enjoyed this Yuletide story! Leave a review if you have a moment!**


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